Of greener grass.

I've been such a selfish brat lately.

I've been whining about how much stuff I have to do, how much responsibility I have in my hands. What about the people who don't have posts at all? What about people who won't even leave any mark on secondary school when they leave? What about people who don't have any of the fun and educational experiences that I've had thanks to the Prefect Board, Interact Club, Ed Board, and most of all, Merah?

I've been whining about how I only got 7A's, and only 3A+s out of that. What about the people who worked their asses off and didn't get any A's at all? What about dyslexic people, mentally retarded people? And worst of all, what about lazy people? I should be thankful I'm not lazy in that sense, or if I do become so, that I have a supportive family (and boyfriend -.-) who will push me right back into the fighting ring without hesitation. Who won't give up on me.

I've been whining about the school administration- they should have done this, they should have done that. What about the people who don't have enough money to pay for school fees, that can't go to school because they have to stay at home and help their mothers sell food at the side of the street? What about kids who have to walk two hours to go to school, or row a dilapidated boat along a dangerous river? What about the children of immigrants who are denied their right to education in our country? Where do they belong? What about the countries that don't even have schools because their little boys are trained to become killers in the name of Allah SWT? They don't even know how to read, and their hands have already been stained by blood just to satisfy the greed of their government. And us, we're complaining about how long our Sports Day was and how suntanned we are.

I've been whining about not being able to go out because my mother signed me up for a three-day tuition course smack in the middle of holidays. What about people who've dropped out of school? What about people who can't afford tuition although they need it? And, what about people who don't have mothers?

*

I don't know what brought this on. But I know that I'm glad God has humbled me once again.

Today, my piano teacher came... She was supposed to come yesterday, and of course I was annoyed because she hadn't turned up and had just left us waiting. But let's just say her story, the circumstances that led her to miss the class yesterday, it has made me just so.. grateful. For everything I have.

Do you know what it's like to have only RM10 in your wallet? ONLY RM10? With nobody to ask for cash, and you're just stuck because you have to pay bills and your brother's physiotherapy and your sister has cancer. How are you going to handle all that with RM10?

I don't eat lunch because I feel I'm fat.
She doesn't eat lunch because she can't afford it.

Seriously. I can't.. I can't even begin to seek forgiveness to God about how selfish I've been this year. And I want to cry, but I know that won't help, so I'll just pray.

I love all of you.