Sat in the shower with all my clothes on. The water dripped on my face so it looks like I'm crying. I'm not crying, I'm not. It's been coming, I knew, and instead of fighting it I just waited for it patiently. Some kinda release in it? I will try to be better because he deserves better, and because I have to keep living, and because I won't be one of those teenagers who had so much potential in the beginning but just couldn't live up to it.
Goddammit somebody, anybody pick up the phone.
*
Ten deep breaths laterr. I AM ALIVEE.
_
Shit I hate panic attacks.
ps: My maid just asked why the hell my kaftan was all wet. I was like, "Oh, termasuk dalam air" WTF lame Alia lame. -.-'
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