Worthless.

Wtf. Couldn't sleep, had weird dreams but was awoken out of them by the call of Visa asking about Tatabahasa homework. Went on Facebook and had the most ..disgusting.. conversation on Facebook.

Here's to hoping that I'll forget all this when I wake up in the morning.

Interesting point- I totally conned my dad into taking me for Nadhil's birthday lunch at OU just now. Sorry ayah. Luckily his friends were there too so I got away with it for the most part. I still had to go to Pavilion for dinner and night shopping though. I hate shopping, just serves to epitomize my self-disgust. (One of those insecure days)

I'm not worth anything. Why do you even love me? Why do I feel this way?

During dinner, dad said he could help with getting a job for me at Sumitomo if I work hard enough. Which kind of explains why I have three different Additional Mathematics books spread out in front of me. Damn you logarithms.

Right after I came back from Pavi I had to do something to distract myself from throwing up, so I finished watching Letters from Iwo Jima and it made me cry because at MPH earlier I'd amused myself by browsing through WW2 books and so many people suffered and I'm bitchin' 'cause I'm fat. Haha.

I am going through a Cold War phase. I guess it all started with my Holmes phase (which I have not quite left yet, though I've decreased the stalking lolz), and I was just intrigued by how the Holmes series ended when the war was starting. And of course, being obsessed about Letters from Iwo Jima (a good few weeks before I watched it) helped a lot.

I bought a book called The Berlin Wall the other day; took it to my eldest brother's house. He's a military history buff so I figured I'd get some advice on what to read. Traded The Berlin Wall (he said it was too heavy for me to start with) for this humongous coffee-table book Cold War. It has pictures and timelines and shit, so I figure.. yeah, this could work.

Ugg. My favorite scene of Letters from Iwo Jima is playing through my head. Why did everyone have to die? D: Though.. I never figured out if Saigo died in the end? He was brilliant throughout the whole masterpiece. This DVD is going on my bulletin board of awesome, which has been hollow of Jap stuff for FAR TOO LONG.

Tomorrow, piano in the morning, tuition in the afternoon and Ash's CNY gathering at seven. Sad to think that all these gatherings will be the last ones that I'm attending as a secondary school student. :(

p/s: Arashi + Lady Gaga. Click here.

p/s/s: I suppose I should have made this shorter. But what the hell, I got time!